Writer's Note: This fic is absolute proof that I am a freakin' nutcase, since it was inspired by my breakfast. Blame the pie, damn you! The evil hentai pie!

Duo was in love. Truly, madly, deeply, head-over-heels--

"This is the best blueberry pie I've ever tasted!" he exclaimed, digging into his third piece.

The other pilots sweatdropped. Wufei in particular looked uncomfortable. "Thank you," he grumbled, seething internally. Duo was mangling his masterpiece, with no regard for its fresh-from-the-oven beauty-- and did he have to keep making those noises?

Duo moaned ecstatically as he forked up another bite laden with berry goodness. "Mmmm..." He closed his eyes blissfully, tilting his head back and practically writhing in his seat.

The four other boys stared at the God of Death, eyes very wide. Quatre was blushing. Wufei was anticipating a nosebleed. Even Trowa looked rather... affected. And Heero...

Well, Heero was torn between running out of the room, and jumping Duo right there.

Duo moaned again, licking his lips to get the last traces of blueberry. Heero began to wish that spandex wasn't quite so confining, not to mention revealing... Thank goodness he was standing behind the kitchen counter.

Duo opened his eyes, expression eager. "Hey, can I have another piece?"

"No!" four voices cried simultaneously.

The Deathscythe pilot pouted. "Why not? I'm still hungry! And it was sooo good..." He swiped a finger through the crumbs on his plate, then brought it to his mouth, pink tongue flicking out to lap at the slender digit.

Oh, no, Heero thought wildly. Don't do it, Duo...

Duo did. The finger slid between his lips, and he sucked at it enthusiastically, little sounds of pleasure escaping every now and then along with the moist sucking sounds.

Wufei cursed loudly and rushed from the room, one hand clutching his nose to staunch the flow of blood.

Trowa looked at Quatre. Quatre looked at Trowa. Then the blond Arabian grabbed the unresisting Heavyarms pilot by the waistband of his oh-so-tight pants and dragged him off to the nearest bedroom, slamming the door and sliding all the locks into place.

Heero was now alone in the kitchen with Duo.

Duo glanced about, expression puzzled, the finger still in his mouth. "What's their problem?" he mumbled, blue-violet eyes wide and guileless. He glanced over at Heero.

Heero stared back, dark blue eyes radiating that "deer in the headlights" look.

Duo frowned slightly, then caught sight of the pie sitting on the countertop, beckoning him with its seductive homemade goodness. "Oh well. More for me!" he crowed, standing up and reaching for the pie cutter. He looked at Heero, still standing behind the counter, and frowned slightly. "Hey, man, don'tcha even want to try it?"

Heero gave him a funny look that set off warning bells in the back of his mind. "Yes," the Wing pilot growled roughly. Then he reached across the counter, got a fistful of Duo's shirt, and yanked the other boy forward for a deep, bruising kiss.

Duo made a small sound of surprise, mostly because he couldn't get enough air to make a big one.

Heero explored the warmth of Duo's mouth with his tongue, relishing the sweet, thick taste of blueberries that lingered there. He made a mental note to thank Wufei later.

Finally he came up for air, although he didn't release his hold on Duo's shirt. For his part, Duo looked more than a little startled-- his cheeks were flushed, his eyes were slightly glazed, and he was breathing hard.

"Heero," he began, "what--?"

"You asked me if I wanted to try it, and I did," Heero said. A smirk twisted his mouth slightly, and his cobalt eyes seemed even darker. "It was... good," he rasped, voice low.

Duo swallowed hard, wriggling a bit uncomfortably in Heero's steel grip. Leaning over the counter this way was causing a little too much friction between his groin and one of the drawer-handles, and while it wasn't painful yet, his imagination was bringing up much more pleasant things he could be rubbing against...

"Maybe you'd like... another taste?" Duo suggested, his heart thudding overloud in his ears.

Heero's smirk grew wider, and his eyes literally sparkled. "Good idea," he said, drawing Duo forward for another kiss.

********

Wufei sulked in his bedroom, about half a box of Kleenex wadded up and pressed against his nose. Between the vigorous noises coming from Quatre's room and the ruckus coming from the kitchen, Wufei suspected it was going to be a loooong night. He winced at a particularly loud clatter as something was pushed off the counter to the floor.

He lay back against his pillows, scowling at the cracks in the ceiling. "That's it," he growled, "I am never baking again."